Double P

If I only had one

In the hours of nine to five

Some challenge, stimulation

A task on which I'd thrive

But of course there's nothing

Left to rot in peace

No distractions available

Enthusiasm will cease

And it must be me, I

Am pretty sure it's me, I

Look myself in the eye, I

Can understand the reason why, I

Start to withdraw

Count each and every single flaw

A total that's beyond compare

This number is beyond repair

It's what happens when I go reflective

Lose touch on reality and perspective 

Lie awake at night

Usually between three and five

Need that challenge, stimulation

To make me feel alive 

But of course there's nothing

Just the silence of the night

No distractions available

Until the morning's light 

And it must be me, I

Am pretty sure it's me, I

Look myself in the eye, I

Can understand the reason why, I

Start to withdraw

Count each and every single flaw

A total that's beyond compare

This number is beyond repair

It's what happens when I go reflective

Lose touch on reality and perspective 

Touch lost on all perspective

Won't take much of a detective

To guess the next step, the directive

To bring it to an end, irrespective

Echoes of night

Hearing attenuated

By lack of sight

I listen with interest

In the gloom of the night

The sounds abound

A myriad of noise

All calm and so gentle

Delivered with poise

The softest of snores

Plays endlessly

The rhythm, the backing track

To my insomnia malady

And on the roof tiles

The tapping of rain

Comes, then it goes 

Then comes with vigour again

But the loudest sounds

Are the thoughts in my head

Quite simply deafening

But forever unsaid

Pity the volume

Is beyond all control

No dial to reduce its

Impact or toll

Nothing to do

But cry double f's sake

Guess it's all my own fault

For being awake