Ode to my dead leg

Dear dearest dead leg

You're becoming a little bore

Here we are at 5am

I want to sleep and snore

My alarm's due to sound

Forty minutes from now

I'm not in a best place

For Wednesday, somehow

Yes, battered bruised limb

I know it's my bloody fault

For crashing off my bike Monday

In a spectacular somersault 

Blame that sodding tunnel

It's far too narrow and dark

Guess I lost concentration

On my arse I chose to park

Yes, yes, purple-coloured thigh

I can see and feel your pain

But I wish you'd stop complaining

I'd like to go back to sleep again

Spare a thought for lonely bike

In the underground store at work

Wait till I tell it it's for the bin

It'll go berserk

You see, swollen lumpy leg

You'll get better over time

It will all be a distant memory

Forgotten, just like this rhyme

But not so for poor old bike

With handlebars bent and bucked

The only way to describe it

Is well and truly beyond repair