The here and the now

Phone rings
You know the news
What you hear
Still brings the blues

Hopes are dashed
Though you knew the result
No one to blame
It's all your fault

What was missing
From the pitch
Hard to identify
Anything which

Could have improved the delivery
Made more of this opportunity
Turned their heads a little more
Sparking their interest should be no chore

Back to square one
Pick yourself up
Don't be grumpy
No time for gruff

Something else
Lies in waiting
Pity here and now
Is so frustrating

Hypnogogia

Falling, falling
Then startled, awake
So hard to
Repeatedly take

Tumbling, dropping
As I start to relax
Then this strange malaise
Renews it's attacks

I can find you on wiki or anywhere on line
In dispassionate English, grammar just fine
But no amount of description can compensate
Or make me feel better, wipe clean the slate

Strange-named curse
I despise you so
And when I next close my eyes
You'll be waiting, I know

One hundred and four

Vivid dreams
Fill the night
Endless, taunting
Praying for light

Sheets are soaking
Body clothed in sweat
Temperature still rising
By this malady I'm beset

When will it all end
And normality return
For a taste of food and drink
I long, I yearn

Need to turn the thermostat
Down from one oh four
Then I can finally
Pick myself up off the floor

Crumpled paper

I wrote another verse today
It stares back up at me
Wistful, reflective, every word
Made me sound so unhappy

I'm not, you know, not at all
My poems just mirror a time
When I'm sat on a rumbling train
Trying to write in rhyme

It's a stop and think moment
When the world around me halts
I can delve in to the darkest place
That hides my wants and faults

And now looking at that poem
It doesn't look like me at all
So now it's crumpled paper
That I tossed against the wall

Yet it's still talking to me
Waiting to be unleashed on line
And you'll all think I'm sad again
When I'm absolutely fine

I pick up that crumpled paper
In my pocket it's safely stored
It's not chatting to me now
Knowing it's not being ignored

So I'll leave you this verse for now
The other will have it's day
When I'm being a bloody moody Three
And can't think of anything to say

Weight upon my shoulders

Gloomy day, delayed trains
Rain falls from the sky
Man-bag full for the task ahead
I heave a heavy sigh

It's packed full of useless stuff
Assorted crap and folders
Tugging hard on my right side
A weight upon my shoulders

My destination seems miles away
No way to get there quick
Time will be a burden
As it's hands will slowly tick

And as it winds it's hours away
I'm slowly growing older
What if I don't recognise myself
Will be a weight upon my shoulders

And what of all the other things
Friends and hopes and dreams
Languishing in the twilight
Of the day's endless routines

Wistful in my yearning
That through all it it still endures
And this burden on my shoulders
Won't be a weight on yours

Sign

Finalised the deal
Ready to shake hands and smile
This is the one you've waited for
For the longest while

Pop the corks and celebrate
As you mark the dotted line
Clinch what you've been wanting
As you finally sign

Is the bell ringing yet
That it will never be complete
No matter how long you've waited
Time to admit defeat

Raise the white flag, surrender
Time to give up and resign
The prize is out of your grasp
Take this as a sign

Reached the lowest ebb yet
Beyond hope and despair
Take a walk through those doors
Am sure you'll find more there

Turn up in smiles or disarray
Your presence won't be declined
As long as it's all in order
And on the dot you've signed

Break in the clouds

Everything's possible
Anything goes
Immerse yourself fully
Or gently dip you toes

What are you looking for
As you peer out of your shrouds
A new world or beginning
Or just a break in the clouds

Do you enjoy the heavy air
As the storm rolls in
The crash and roar of thunder
Creating such a din

Does the pressure bother you
Being squeezed by all the crowds
May be it's something you enjoy
Till there's a break in the clouds

Such enormous negativity
The air drips with distain
Why not do something about it
Instead of endlessly complain

It's getting to that turning point
When this burden I can't heft
So my break in the clouds
Will be exit, stage left

The clock

Time goes backwards
In this room
Of monotone words
And traffic boom

Time goes slowly
What did I expect
When in my soul
I've lost all respect