Expectation

A restless night
Thoughts raced by
Could almost touch what I saw
With my mind's eye

Clock moved so slowly
I swore it knew
And with every tick and toc
My expectation grew

Could taste it in the air
The excitement and the fear
What would it be like
The first time that you're near?

Would I shake uncontrollably
As my nerves ran free
I'd have you in my grasp
My favourite fantasy

I still remember how my head swam
Walking up to you
Legs had turned to jelly
Nothing I could do

Don't recall a thing I said
Probably just babbled away
I knew I'd lose my composure
I'm embarrassed to say

For there you were
Picture-book pretty for sure
And I'll gladly admit
I was in your awe

I left there on a cloud
My feet not near the ground
It was only very brief
But the effect quite profound

Only one question remains
It still lingers in me
Wonder what you thought, felt
When you first saw Three

Light

How do I describe thee?
On this cloudy day
A ray of light, shining bright
Beautiful in your way

What is it about you
That doeth blind me so?
Your skin so fair, your gentle stare
I'm absorbed you know

While there's commotion all around
My feet are fixed firmly to the ground
It's like you have taken hold
Of my breath, my words, my guile, my bold
For here I stand, an open book
Captured by your gaze, your piercing look
And there's not an ounce of strength in me
That can resist you easily

I wonder, what are the thoughts
Racing through your mind
Would love to think I'm one of them
Not someone you'll leave behind

It's hard on this long journey
With no signal on the phone
Easy to feel quite quite lost
And often so alone

But seeing you here has lifted me
Now I feel alright
There's a certain quality to
Your air, your smile, your light

Path

I walk you
Every single day
At first you
Just showed me the way

So I kept the line
And got it right
Brought me out of dark
And in to light

And as my confidence
Began to grow
I'd drift away
From you, I know

Find my own tack
Or course to run
Sometimes I forgot
Where I'd begun

I'd look back
And not recognise
The track was wrong
I was not so wise

Ploughing on
I didn't see
How unkind
This path was to me

Took me places
That I'd hate
And to leave
I simply could not wait

Find another
Plot to steer
And hope that
I would find you near

Without ever knowing
You were there
That you'd love
And for me care

And the path was
One that you'd laid
So I'd not feel
Alone, afraid

That it would bring
My heart close by
And you'd be comforted
As much as I

Just for now
Amble with pride
Along the path
Our hearts reside

Though soon our course
Will separate
As our lives
Gently dictate

But travel on
I will with smile
Hope that our paths
Cross once in a while

Silent Sunday

White

Pretty as a picture
Sparkling bright
The world covered in a blanket
Of freezing cold white

A winter's dream
Is so special to me
But it's not the vision
I'd most love to see

Fifteen tough players
With a red rose on their chest
Lofting a trophy
Proving they're the world's best

I watched it all
In two thousand and three
And for something else
I'd give that up happily

Climb up a mountain
Leave the clouds down below
Filling your vision
Like a carpet of snow

A breathtaking sight
I've enjoyed once before
But there's another experience
I'd love to endure

Shooting across Bark Bay
Spray filling my sight
Rainbows flying out from
The sunlight so bright

A beautiful place
And a magical day
There's only one thing
That could drag me away

And now something tells me
To close my lips tight
Not to disclose
My perfect vision of white

Some things should be secret
Of that I am sure
Only to be shared
With the one you adore

So I'm signing off here
If that is alright
Just closing my eyes
And dreaming of white

Yellow

My one and probably only chance
Presents itself right now
The one I was sure would never come
No way, no day, no how

I've mentioned this all before
I'm sure you will recall
Wondering can I risk my pride
And surely the following fall

Banbury babe sits beside me
I've fifteen minutes to go
Before she alights at the next stop
I just don't really know

How to broach any conversation
And this is so unlike me
I can chat away to anyone
Endlessly, happily

Start chats out of thin air
A connection I'll easily find
And before too long our words
Are woven and entwined

But when it's someone that I like
I'm rooted to the ground
Frozen to my very core
Can't make a single sound

My lips are glued together
My stomach feels full of lead
Can't think straight or even
Get a simple thought in to my head

May be all the bravado
Is just masking all my flaws
My throat tries to quell all noise
But I don't want to stop or pause

Can't even find the chance
To say 'Hi' or 'how are you?'
We're pulling in to the station
Now there's nothing I can do

I've failed bloody miserably
Never uttered a single word
Wasn't charming, kind or anything
My voice she never heard

Wonder if she expected me
To say something like 'hello'
We've exchanged so many glances
May be I am just yellow

Red

What does it say to you?
What words can be said?
When i ask you to describe
Red, red.

What thoughts form within you
And race round your head?
Try to articulate
Red, red

It's the colour of the blood
That runs in my veins
And that won't alter
Whether love goes or remains

It's the sun setting
At the close of the day
When thoughts might turn
To those far away

Those not in your arms
Where you want them to be
Their pretty smile
You're so longing to see

Stir the fire in them
Flames burning their soul
Emotions completely
Fulfilling and whole

Are there things that disturb
Or fill you with dread?
The anger, the passion of
Red, red

Blinded by the mist
That blocks the way ahead
Just no escaping
Red, red

It's the colour of the blood
That runs in my veins
Hope your love always
Remains, remains

It's the sun setting
At the close of the day
Sometimes you're so near
And so far away

You're not in my arms
Where I want you to be
That pretty smile
I'm so longing to see

You stir the fire
Flames burning my soul
Emotions completely
Fulfilling and whole

My words at an end
Everything you have read
Sums up what it means to me
Red, red

Green

Short train ride today
With my words I'll be brief
But I'm not stealing from you
Don't consider me a thief

For the intent will as always
Flow directly out of me
Straight to your heart
Hopefully

For you are my bright star
On your smile I can depend
You're the pot of gold waiting
At the rainbow's end

And every colour flows from you
Love to see you radiate
Fill me up with every hue
On that there's no debate

But one colour's not to be found
It's absent from the list
Though I know you will agree
That it will not be missed

Green is not a colour
That brims inside my heart
Won't find me at all envious
When we are apart

For I just rejoice
In the moments that we share
They keep my head above water
When all seems in despair

So no green is to be found here
Just colours that warms and calms
And I'll wait for the next moment
I can hold you in my arms

Silent Sunday (2)

Silent Sunday

Guessing

Until moments before
My mind is assessing
How many ways you can
Keep leaving me guessing

Then with just one word
My course has direction
With which to plough on
In thought and reflection

And let loose some rhymes
Though so many times
The verse is not new
But heartfelt through and through
In trying to convey
All the things I'd like to say
And I count it a blessing
You keep leaving me guessing

For it stirs my insides
To think on the spot
Recall some emotions
I might have forgot

Dig deep as I travel
Lose myself in
The time and the motion
And feelings's within

And let loose some rhymes
Though so many times
It must be a chore
My words surely must bore?
You've heard it all by now
Every whim, cry and vow
When I'm angry or stressing
Feels like I'm undressing

In front of you here
And naked I stand
Unprepared, unready
Unsteady, unplanned

Openly admitting
Everything, confessing
So tell me how you feel?
Or will you just leave me guessing?

Breathe out

Long time coming
But now I know
The direction I'm headed
And where I ought to go

Drawn out saga
Is coming to an end
Hope I can still turn to you
And find that you're my friend

Relationships don't grow on trees
You pull me up when I'm on my knees

When you're by my side
There's no need to scream and shout
Just have you close, hold your hand
And breathe out, breathe out
If the darkness tries to consume me
And all I see is fear and doubt
Your calming voice calls to me
Breathe out, breathe out

Walked the path too long
Lost myself somewhere
Took too many journeys without
Proper thought or care

Splintering myself
Every step of the way
Couldn't find a special place
Where I could be okay

Relationships don't grow on tress
You pull me up when I'm on my knees

When you're by my side
There's no need to scream and shout
Just have you close, hold your hand
And breathe out, breathe out
If the darkness tries to consume me
And all I see is fear and doubt
Your calming voice calls to me
Breathe out, breathe out

When you're by my side
I won't ever scream and shout
Just have you close, hold your hand
And breathe out, breathe out
If the darkness tries to consume me
You'll be the light to clear all doubt
Your calming voice calls to me
Breathe out, breathe out

Silent Sunday

Message

Thought up, scribbled, posted
Wonder if it's been read
Has the message finally
Got straight through to my head

In all honesty I can't answer
Because I'm just not sure
Don't know if there's an antidote
To that potion pure

That consumes all and everything
And leaves them in it's wake
Tossing and endlessly turning
Without pause, respite, or break

What do you get when you fall in love?
Goes the line from that famous song
When it's all so magical?
Or when it goes disastrously wrong?

But all I have are questions
No answers to be found
In the words I leave here for you
No reason, rhyme, or sound

What do you feel deep within you
When your eyes your lover behold
Does the temperature rise quickly within
Or do you just turn cold

Do they stare right back with intent
Of love deep in their heart?
Or does a coldness flow out of them
Like you've long since been apart?

Do you want to really hold them tight
And know your love will be returned?
Or are you left all empty
Knowing their love's no longer earned?

Alas, I have no answers for you
I thought I'd mentioned that before
And as I check back through my text
I know I did, I'm sure

For I sit somewhere in the middle
I can feel both sides, you see
May be this verse is not for you
It's a message for mister three

Low point

Bottom reached, today I fear
A whole new chapter ripped asunder
Feels weird the sun's shining bright
Should be met by rolling thunder

Wondering how I made it here
Is what today is all about
Glancing in the mirror will show me
Dismay, frowns, and self-doubt

Tomorrow may well bring relief
When I know the future's set
And the direction I'll be travelling
But they'll still be some regret

Disappointed in how I was
Let my internal credit really fall
I know the what, where, who and why
This is my wake-up call

Need to ask myself a question
What do I really want to be?
Better go look for the answer
And hope that one day I'll find me

Minimal

Short
Frayed
Hopelessly
Delayed

Empty
Hollow
Thursday
Tomorrow

Lacklustre
Jaded
Considerably
Faded

Wonder if I can make
Some kind of deal
Deep inside my head
So it's sunshine I feel
Instead of this darkness
That grips my heart
It's like I'm simply
Falling apart

Writing
Reading
Not myself
Feeding

Missing
Vacating
Not even much
Contemplating

No stopping
For pause
May be
I'm a lost cause

Wonder if I can make
A deal with my soul
Aim to return myself
To fully whole
And get a refund
On the time that I lost
Do it, whatever
No counting the cost

Because if all that's left
Is this minimal me
I'll be so disappointed
In this mister three